We gon' find you.
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Monday, October 25, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I am a bit shaken by something that a friend of mine has posted. They are having regrets about the past and I would like to be there for them. Their issues are extremely relevant to me.
Hint: "Those who know, know. Those who do not, need not."
I am reminded of a time in my life when I felt left behind, left alone, and unwanted.
I wish there were a way to have gained the knowledge that I gained through that tough time in my life without experiencing the pain.
I remember when I was committing my moral sins (or whatever you religious kids at home would like to call it, 9th commandment for you Catholics out there, 10th otherwise), I would cry in the shower, the car, or anywhere else I was alone. I used to smoke, because it would give me a reason to go outside/away to wallow about in the bad memories (some more vivid than others).
No one helped or talked to me about it, because no one knew about it.
Sometimes, as I am remembering these pieces of my past, I realize how much of it I have just let sit down in the lesser functioning parts of my brain. In fact, until recently, I didn't even have proper mediums to express these feelings.
I wish things were as simple as knowing and executing. I've stumbled, I've fallen, I've failed, but I've gotten back up. And, for myself and the people I love, I will keep getting back up, and keep raising up the people who need it too.
"Candles burn slowly,
Flames shine so brightly
Light in the darkness,
Save me from madness again
Only the lonely,
could possibly know me
Heat keeps on rising,
Fire engulfs me again
Keep on rising"
Hint: "Those who know, know. Those who do not, need not."
I am reminded of a time in my life when I felt left behind, left alone, and unwanted.
I wish there were a way to have gained the knowledge that I gained through that tough time in my life without experiencing the pain.
I remember when I was committing my moral sins (or whatever you religious kids at home would like to call it, 9th commandment for you Catholics out there, 10th otherwise), I would cry in the shower, the car, or anywhere else I was alone. I used to smoke, because it would give me a reason to go outside/away to wallow about in the bad memories (some more vivid than others).
No one helped or talked to me about it, because no one knew about it.
Sometimes, as I am remembering these pieces of my past, I realize how much of it I have just let sit down in the lesser functioning parts of my brain. In fact, until recently, I didn't even have proper mediums to express these feelings.
I wish things were as simple as knowing and executing. I've stumbled, I've fallen, I've failed, but I've gotten back up. And, for myself and the people I love, I will keep getting back up, and keep raising up the people who need it too.
"Candles burn slowly,
Flames shine so brightly
Light in the darkness,
Save me from madness again
Only the lonely,
could possibly know me
Heat keeps on rising,
Fire engulfs me again
Keep on rising"
Slowish day
God, what a slow day today. I have successfully deployed 2 laptops on my own this morning and Kevin has been deploying desktops all willy-nilly.
Bdubs will certainly calm me down. Only ten more minutes til I'm in delicious heaven.
Speaking of heaven, CC is coming over tomorrow. Success for me!
Bdubs will certainly calm me down. Only ten more minutes til I'm in delicious heaven.
Speaking of heaven, CC is coming over tomorrow. Success for me!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Evening
Hello world. Had a very eventful day.
Morning - get up, say good morning to CC. Go to work. Kevin, the other contractor, arrives shortly after I do and is already up and running on helping me with my projects. He is a good guy.
Here's the deal though:
On Monday and Tuesday, the contractor from Netarx, Jeff, comes in at 8:30am. He is supposed to be coming in for 8 hours, but he leaves at 4:30pm, which is before I even leave, and only counts as 7 hours. Jeff's work was pretty good, but it wasn't worth the fact that we had to pay almost triple the price of a normal employee to have him.
On Wednesday and today, Kevin comes in, on time, and helps with my job and is very knowledgeable about everything that we do. He helps me with some image rebuilds and also nails down the process for building laptops. We talk a lot, and I learn he has a brother who lives in Rochester. Very cool.
We've decided to stick with Kevin and let Jeff go, given the cost savings that we will benefit from.
Also, I got my paycard from HR in order to rectify the missing pay from tomorrows reciept. They gave me what they call a pay card, a debit card that can be used as a credit card (will have $300 on it). I will probably cash it out tomorrow.
Evening - get into IM chat with Amanda. She is bored, so I introduce her to xkcd and amazingsuperpowers. She doesn't get it. Guess it's not her kinda thing. We leave for lunch around 11:30am and we talk about school, all the while Brandon sitting back just listening, since he doesn't go to Kettering and doesn't know what to say. We felt bad. Ate a full meal at Buffalo Wild Wings. :)
Later Evening - Keep working, you know.
4:40pm - leave work, satisfied with the things I have accomplished.
6:30pm - Dad and I drive to the driving range and he gets me back into the swing of things. (pun!) At first I have issues with keeping my left arm straight, but after a while, I am able to use my momentum to help me (it really is all in the hips). I loosen up and start getting the muscle memory from back when I golfed avidly (age 10-13ish).
7:50pm - remember to get into the Up Til Dawn phone conference. Have my part to say and get some work to do. Good meeting. Finish at 8:28pm.
8:30pm - call CC, finally. I wish I had a chance to call earlier. CC seemed mad at me for not having called earlier. Have a nice conversation with my other half. Grounds me. I love you CC.
Since then, I have been packing all of my clothing and things in preparation for going to Port Huron and seeing CC. I miss her so much.
To CC: I'm sorry for not calling sooner. I know you've wanted to talk to me. I miss you.
As I am typing this stanza (correct me if I am mistaken), only 19 hours remain until I am in Port Huron and get to see CC again. Success!
Watching cinemassacres Godzillathon as celebration.
Can't wait for pay day tomorrow. I love getting over $1,000 every other Friday! :)
Morning - get up, say good morning to CC. Go to work. Kevin, the other contractor, arrives shortly after I do and is already up and running on helping me with my projects. He is a good guy.
Here's the deal though:
On Monday and Tuesday, the contractor from Netarx, Jeff, comes in at 8:30am. He is supposed to be coming in for 8 hours, but he leaves at 4:30pm, which is before I even leave, and only counts as 7 hours. Jeff's work was pretty good, but it wasn't worth the fact that we had to pay almost triple the price of a normal employee to have him.
On Wednesday and today, Kevin comes in, on time, and helps with my job and is very knowledgeable about everything that we do. He helps me with some image rebuilds and also nails down the process for building laptops. We talk a lot, and I learn he has a brother who lives in Rochester. Very cool.
We've decided to stick with Kevin and let Jeff go, given the cost savings that we will benefit from.
Also, I got my paycard from HR in order to rectify the missing pay from tomorrows reciept. They gave me what they call a pay card, a debit card that can be used as a credit card (will have $300 on it). I will probably cash it out tomorrow.
Evening - get into IM chat with Amanda. She is bored, so I introduce her to xkcd and amazingsuperpowers. She doesn't get it. Guess it's not her kinda thing. We leave for lunch around 11:30am and we talk about school, all the while Brandon sitting back just listening, since he doesn't go to Kettering and doesn't know what to say. We felt bad. Ate a full meal at Buffalo Wild Wings. :)
Later Evening - Keep working, you know.
4:40pm - leave work, satisfied with the things I have accomplished.
6:30pm - Dad and I drive to the driving range and he gets me back into the swing of things. (pun!) At first I have issues with keeping my left arm straight, but after a while, I am able to use my momentum to help me (it really is all in the hips). I loosen up and start getting the muscle memory from back when I golfed avidly (age 10-13ish).
7:50pm - remember to get into the Up Til Dawn phone conference. Have my part to say and get some work to do. Good meeting. Finish at 8:28pm.
8:30pm - call CC, finally. I wish I had a chance to call earlier. CC seemed mad at me for not having called earlier. Have a nice conversation with my other half. Grounds me. I love you CC.
Since then, I have been packing all of my clothing and things in preparation for going to Port Huron and seeing CC. I miss her so much.
To CC: I'm sorry for not calling sooner. I know you've wanted to talk to me. I miss you.
As I am typing this stanza (correct me if I am mistaken), only 19 hours remain until I am in Port Huron and get to see CC again. Success!
Watching cinemassacres Godzillathon as celebration.
Can't wait for pay day tomorrow. I love getting over $1,000 every other Friday! :)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
...the world as a hole.
Let's see...
Weekend was amazing. Had a great time lying in bed with CC, watching TV shows, going to Great Lakes Crossing, seeing 2 movies, and other things. Very nice weekend.
Yesterday was pretty hectic. Me and Jeff (new contract guy from netarx) talked alot. I deployed 4 computers yesterday. A record, I'm sure. Now only about 200 left!
Still enjoying my Droid X. I use it for reading, using the Kindle for Android software. Also, I've been using it as a super GPS, even making calls on it while navigating (my battery really hates me). I have to charge the thing every night because of the way I drain it during the day. Hopefully, as I get used to using it, this daily ritual will wane-down. (get it, a portmanteau of "wane" and "wind-down", I get jokes!)
Also, after much delay and not enough time spent on it, I finally finished reading the first adventure of Sherlock Holmes (mind you, this essentially means a 29 page chapter). Happened yesterday at lunch. I had my Droid out with a cup of ramen and a cherry coke! Very enjoyable lunch.
Yesterday night was fun as well. Went over to Jon and Steve's apartment. We were trying to decide what to eat for dinner, and what we came up with was a complete disaster of a meal.
Weekend was amazing. Had a great time lying in bed with CC, watching TV shows, going to Great Lakes Crossing, seeing 2 movies, and other things. Very nice weekend.
Yesterday was pretty hectic. Me and Jeff (new contract guy from netarx) talked alot. I deployed 4 computers yesterday. A record, I'm sure. Now only about 200 left!
Still enjoying my Droid X. I use it for reading, using the Kindle for Android software. Also, I've been using it as a super GPS, even making calls on it while navigating (my battery really hates me). I have to charge the thing every night because of the way I drain it during the day. Hopefully, as I get used to using it, this daily ritual will wane-down. (get it, a portmanteau of "wane" and "wind-down", I get jokes!)
Also, after much delay and not enough time spent on it, I finally finished reading the first adventure of Sherlock Holmes (mind you, this essentially means a 29 page chapter). Happened yesterday at lunch. I had my Droid out with a cup of ramen and a cherry coke! Very enjoyable lunch.
Yesterday night was fun as well. Went over to Jon and Steve's apartment. We were trying to decide what to eat for dinner, and what we came up with was a complete disaster of a meal.
Mon Jin Lau: the blandest, yet most expensive Thai food I have ever had. $14.95 for the standard, Pad Thai. I get it, and the flavor is so watered down, I was tempted to add salt to the meal to make it more palatable. Chu was with us and he said that he is never letting us choose where to eat ever again. I would definately agree after this monstrosity.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Friday, oh what a day
A contracted worker from Netarx started today and I was training him in what he's going to be doing. He's a pretty cool guy. He's got that 'engineer' attitude about things and I can respect that. Very willing to learn and figure out a new way for the future.
What else is going on.
...
hm
...
Oh! That's right!
Got my beautifully delicious and gigantically pretty new phone: The Droid X. I love this thing, and I'm sorry for making this space on the internet my shrine of worship to this phone. I'll shut up now.
Tonight, CC is coming to my home and I plan to show her a fun and relaxing time. She seems to have been having a stressful time these past few days and I want to help her come back down to earth. If I can make her smile, I know I've done my job.
CC: as much as I love my phone, I love you more.
Hm...
I have started contemplating the Gettier Problem: (generalized) What makes a belief become knowledge? It stems from my interest in ontology, but it has evolved over the years (religion as a being, thought as a being, etc). I guess I just really like these ways of viewing and reviewing ones own system of thinking. I can also say that I am a firm subscriber of conceptual metaphor, which is exactly what it sounds like: understanding one domain based on it's cognitive relation to another.
Just wanted to type that. Had to get my mind off of work for a few minutes.
Anyway...see ya in about 5 hours CC. I can't wait!
What else is going on.
...
hm
...
Oh! That's right!
Got my beautifully delicious and gigantically pretty new phone: The Droid X. I love this thing, and I'm sorry for making this space on the internet my shrine of worship to this phone. I'll shut up now.Tonight, CC is coming to my home and I plan to show her a fun and relaxing time. She seems to have been having a stressful time these past few days and I want to help her come back down to earth. If I can make her smile, I know I've done my job.
CC: as much as I love my phone, I love you more.
Hm...
I have started contemplating the Gettier Problem: (generalized) What makes a belief become knowledge? It stems from my interest in ontology, but it has evolved over the years (religion as a being, thought as a being, etc). I guess I just really like these ways of viewing and reviewing ones own system of thinking. I can also say that I am a firm subscriber of conceptual metaphor, which is exactly what it sounds like: understanding one domain based on it's cognitive relation to another.
Just wanted to type that. Had to get my mind off of work for a few minutes.
Anyway...see ya in about 5 hours CC. I can't wait!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Damn
Mom didn't get the FedEx package from the guy today. It was gonna be my new phone.
Damnit all. The best thing that was gonna happen today. Gonna see if I can pick it up at store.
Damnit all. The best thing that was gonna happen today. Gonna see if I can pick it up at store.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Get ready for the CHEESE!
Alright, cheesy post incoming.
Heard this song at lunch (and yes, it is Jonas Brothers/Camp Rock as they are referred to):
Music's in my soul
I can hear it everyday, everynight
It's the one thing on my mind
Music's got control
And I'm never letting go, no no
I just wanna play my music
Random Funny Pictures:
CC:
If you would be my mad scientist, I would be your pissed-off engineer.
You're on my mind all the time.
Your beauty steals my glance.
Your voice steals my attention.
Your love steals my heart.
I thank whatever random act of miracles led you to me.
I could die in your embrace and be at piece with the world.
When we found we were the same person, I knew that I could not be apart from you.
You are my #1, CC. My only hope is that I am doing a good job of being yours.
Heard this song at lunch (and yes, it is Jonas Brothers/Camp Rock as they are referred to):
Music's in my soul
I can hear it everyday, everynight
It's the one thing on my mind
Music's got control
And I'm never letting go, no no
I just wanna play my music
Random Funny Pictures:
CC:
If you would be my mad scientist, I would be your pissed-off engineer.
You're on my mind all the time.
Your beauty steals my glance.
Your voice steals my attention.
Your love steals my heart.
I thank whatever random act of miracles led you to me.
I could die in your embrace and be at piece with the world.
When we found we were the same person, I knew that I could not be apart from you.
You are my #1, CC. My only hope is that I am doing a good job of being yours.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Pretty good today
Getting lots of stuff done today. My old phone was working, but it has just pooped out, once again.
Looks innocent enough, but it's a real humdinger.
CC, I love you.
Hanging out later today with friends. Having a fun day at work surprisingly.
Muhammed is getting palpably agitated at Alan, our boss-boss. He just doesn't like how he is so demanding about how things are done. Keep it real, my friend. Wear your bald-head up high.
Mom said "The Event" last night was pretty good. Explained a lot, but had some clever new revelations. I will be watching it with CC when she comes over this weekend.
Weezy got sent to solitary for listening to his Ipod. I wonder what song he so desperately wanted to listen to.
Anyway, just wanted to update. Happy and chillin'
Looks innocent enough, but it's a real humdinger.
CC, I love you.
Hanging out later today with friends. Having a fun day at work surprisingly.
Muhammed is getting palpably agitated at Alan, our boss-boss. He just doesn't like how he is so demanding about how things are done. Keep it real, my friend. Wear your bald-head up high.
Mom said "The Event" last night was pretty good. Explained a lot, but had some clever new revelations. I will be watching it with CC when she comes over this weekend.
Weezy got sent to solitary for listening to his Ipod. I wonder what song he so desperately wanted to listen to.
Anyway, just wanted to update. Happy and chillin'
Monday, October 4, 2010
Hectic Monday!
printf(%s,"Hello world!");
//As much as I dislike CS as a class-load, I seem to get a lot of enjoyment in writing it.
This has been the most hectic Monday I have ever had. Here is the rundown:
4:00am - wake up/take a shower
4:50am - leave Allegan, MI
7:00am-7:40am - freak out because my gas is dangerously low
7:40am - get gas at a very out of the way Sunoco
8:13am - arrive at work
8:15am-10:00am - read and write emails to co-workers regarding clocking in, deployment, etc.
10:00am-10:20am - have a phone conference with head boss/new lead in our division. Joe and Muhammed clearly dislike his style
10:45isham - finally respond to CC's pre-mail (preemptive email) to me, best part of my day
11:00am - go to install new Sprint SmartView software to our new head-head boss' computer.
12:00pm - now - enjoy some comfort food (McDonald's while listening to Party in the USA)
I've been doing pretty good in terms of packing lunch, but today I really needed an escape. I was literally working from the time I got in to work til now. Very busy today.
Had a wonderful weekend with CC (the reason I was in Allegan this morning). Miss it already. Great food, entertaining TV, good friends, perfect girl. Couldn't ask for more (except time).
(just for the hell of it)
current TV shows:
Mercy
Glee
The Event
Also, it is FUUUUUUHHHHHHHREEZING out here!
//As much as I dislike CS as a class-load, I seem to get a lot of enjoyment in writing it.
This has been the most hectic Monday I have ever had. Here is the rundown:
4:00am - wake up/take a shower
4:50am - leave Allegan, MI
7:00am-7:40am - freak out because my gas is dangerously low
7:40am - get gas at a very out of the way Sunoco
8:13am - arrive at work
8:15am-10:00am - read and write emails to co-workers regarding clocking in, deployment, etc.
10:00am-10:20am - have a phone conference with head boss/new lead in our division. Joe and Muhammed clearly dislike his style
10:45isham - finally respond to CC's pre-mail (preemptive email) to me, best part of my day
11:00am - go to install new Sprint SmartView software to our new head-head boss' computer.
12:00pm - now - enjoy some comfort food (McDonald's while listening to Party in the USA)
I've been doing pretty good in terms of packing lunch, but today I really needed an escape. I was literally working from the time I got in to work til now. Very busy today.
Had a wonderful weekend with CC (the reason I was in Allegan this morning). Miss it already. Great food, entertaining TV, good friends, perfect girl. Couldn't ask for more (except time).
(just for the hell of it)
current TV shows:
Mercy
Glee
The Event
Also, it is FUUUUUUHHHHHHHREEZING out here!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Happy October!
October is here again (when is it ever late?). Starting to feel the weather changing, though it goes from sunny and beautiful to rainy and near freezing temperatures.
Droid X on it's way. And yeah, I know. In an earlier post, I said I had decided on the Samsung Fascinate. Well, you know what? I changed my damned mind. Plus, Droid X has a bunch of docks and accessories, and I love that stuff. I will be saving my money though.
Work is pretty good. Gonna get out early today. Worked about 15 or so minutes extra everyday this week, so now I get an hour off of today, on top of the fact that I started earlier today.
3:20pm can't come sooner!
Also, CC has been discussing the idea of cruising with me. What a wonderful idea!
I keep on realizing the fact that I haven't watched Adventure Time in over 2 months. So, here is a meme. Bone Appetite.
Droid X on it's way. And yeah, I know. In an earlier post, I said I had decided on the Samsung Fascinate. Well, you know what? I changed my damned mind. Plus, Droid X has a bunch of docks and accessories, and I love that stuff. I will be saving my money though.
Work is pretty good. Gonna get out early today. Worked about 15 or so minutes extra everyday this week, so now I get an hour off of today, on top of the fact that I started earlier today.
3:20pm can't come sooner!
Also, CC has been discussing the idea of cruising with me. What a wonderful idea!
I keep on realizing the fact that I haven't watched Adventure Time in over 2 months. So, here is a meme. Bone Appetite.
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